I know it’s a mixed emotion, and it is not a widely spoken topic. But sometimes people do get stuck and probably this article will help to navigate better in someone’s life.
The Word “BREAKUP” sounds strong though those are very delicate moments. Let me help you with, what I have learned through my journey and from other’s journeys where I had the privilege to help.
CAUSES: (Few scenarios to relate)
It’s just not happening due to wrong choices knowingly/unknowingly, not committed, abusive in any way, cheating, lack of proper communication, not trustworthy, or it’s just not God’s will and the person is not meant for you, etc.
EFFECTS:
It affects us Mentally, Physically, Emotionally, Socially & Spiritually.
1. Becoming self-independent
2. Total Withdrawal
3. Shame & Guilt of making such a big choice
4. Lack of Trust on others/ your choices
5. Leaving scars/ carrying a baggage
6. Depression/emotional trauma/Panic attacks
7. Suicidal thoughts if you dwell on it too much
8. Loss of appetite/ eating a lot
9. Loss of interest in activities
10. Fear of making choices in terms of the relationship
11. Sleeping less/ Sleeping more
12. Feeling worthless, lack of confidence
BRIGHT SIDE:
1. Remember your out of that bondage/stress/Confusion and start embracing the freedom. (Hurray!)
2. You have become stronger than ever before.
3. You have your lessons learned to help someone who goes through this. (EMPATHY WORKS here)
4. You would know better now, how to choose a person.
Do’s: (Some BEST PRACTISES)
1. If you have decided this is not the one, delete the contacts in every place (No lingering moments please, which will cause you even more damage).
2. Need to have self-control, everything starts with you.
3. Open up to someone, who you can trust and who can help you in this process.
4. Stop getting into an isolation mode, but start engaging yourself with right & healthy surroundings.
5. Listen to good music or start focusing on things you like, talents or passion.
6. Focus on yourself set a goal and achieve it.
7. Get healed first, before you can move to the next one cause it’s easy to fall for the wrong again. (Remember, Take time, the world is not going to end tomorrow).
8. Above all your CREATOR knows & understands you well, your flaws, your good, bad, and everything. So reach out to HIM who will heal you completely.
9. Forgive the person, bless them and move on cause the chapter taught you some lessons for life during that season and it was only meant for that and it’s over.
10. Give a second chance to yourself first, not for anyone’s sake.
Don’ts:
1. Stop getting into a rejection mode and start blaming yourself. It’s okay! It’s done & dusted.
2. Stop jumping into another relationship just to fill the vacuum or cause of peer pressure. “Know to wait! Nothing good comes easily”.
3. Stop lingering with those thoughts of your past, and expecting to move on. It’s never gonna happen! (Definitely, It’s a cautious effort and when you encounter those thoughts, change the focus on something immediately or call someone and divert yourself. Again, it’s a cautious effort, but it’s for your good).
4. So, don’t entangle yourself because of revisiting, lingering, and circling with an unhealthy relationship just because it pleases you.
5. Stop feeling shameful or guilty to face the world, most of us have gone through this phase. So, just Chillax!, (Disclaimer: Sorry! this doesn’t give you the license to switch to different relationships)
6. Stop comparing every guy who comes in your life with your past. (Bad idea, I say!)
7. Since you had a bad past, it doesn’t mean even the next right one should be the same. (know the fact that, no two persons are the same).
8. Don’t let your closure become a trap, by waiting for the other person to give an explanation or apology. Learn to give closure to yourself first & move on for good.
Note: “Some insecurities you might have which is undealt, can start being a hindrance in your next right relationship.”
Past is past, no point carrying that baggage in your present or future. Confront it and Fix it, rather leaving it aside which will become a thorn in your flesh and you will be carrying it over the years. (C’mon, at the other side of every bad end, there is a new beginning).
WISDOM WORDS as a BUDDY:
I don’t know what you have gone through but would like to end by saying…
1. Know about the person before you say YES to a relationship. But, not the other way round.
2. Learn to Let your past be a school and not a prison system.
3. Turn your brokenness into a blessing by helping others who are struggling in this.
Hope this article was helpful, you need not experience a breakup to read this. But, even before you can start a relationship this will help to make choice rightly & handle it better or you can be a buddy to help some one.
